here's a piece of truth.

Just when you thought you had me all figured out, you haven’t.

Here’s my darkness.

I’m a self-confessed EMO chick, though I don’t look like one. I take things differently than most people and I cry for the strangest reasons.

I’m a runner. When things don’t go the way I want them to, I step back and turn the other direction. I'm never brave enough to face my weaknesses and my fears always catch up with me.

I’m a coward. I don’t take criticisms well and I hide behind my insecurities. I'm just too intimidated that I don’t get to show the world what I’m capable of. Oftentimes, it’s just the second-rate version of myself because I feel like I will never be good enough.

I’m a hypocrite. I have this thing with the truth. It’s one of the things that scare the hell out of me so I try to escape it. In the long run, I think I’ve grown addicted to saying white lies instead. Worse, I’ve gotten better at hurting people I care for along the way.

I’m a scapegoat. It’s my best asset so far. There are times that I hold back even if I have so much to offer. I allow myself to be pushed around because I’m afraid to let them see right through me. I only say things that society wants to hear. I only do things that society wants to see. I strive to be accepted.

But here’s my light.

I’m simple. I’m actually just a low-maintenance “shirt-jeans-chucks” type of girl. I don’t go for go for things that I’m not comfortable with. Oftentimes, I’m just more of a trend-follower than a trend-setter.

I’m traditional. My faith and family always come first. I stick to the rules and I stand up for what I think is right. I resist change because I don’t like going out of my comfort zone.

I’m a writer. Writing equals life. It’s my passion, my only refuge when life throws the worst rocks at me. I try as much as I can to bring my world into paper – my thoughts, feelings and the principles I believe in because this is the only way I know best to make a difference in the world.

I’m an artist. I often give in to my wild, eccentric thoughts. I see the world in a completely different perspective than most people my age. There are moments that I can be very judgmental and I tend to overlook possibilities but I always try to give things the benefit of the doubt.

I’m a believer. I believe in the goodness of people, that in the midst of the pandemonium in the world, we will still able to experience human nature at its purest. I believe in fate, in the reality that everything happens for a reason. I believe that true love still exists, as impossible as it may seem, and that I’ll have my chance at it someday. I believe in the existence of soulmates, that somewhere in the vastness of the universe, there will only be ONE person to make me whole.

I’m a dreamer. I live for the moment. If I’m good at something, I try to be perfect in every sense. I can be really passionate about things so I strive hard to get them. But actually, what I really want in life are just simple: love, peace and eternal happiness.

I may be unique in some ways but most of the time, I'm just like everyone else - a person who’s trying to find her place in this world.

This is who I am - heart and soul.